1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
