Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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