how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
