when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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