It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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