if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
