Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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