if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
