So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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