No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
