Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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