Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
we made out on top of his cat.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
