hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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