Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
