I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
