I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
