actually, I'm a sock model
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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