so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize