I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize