everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
