No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
