i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
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