ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
