i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
not ubering you a puppy
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
