A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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