You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Randomize
