she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
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As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize