In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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