Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
3pm strippers are depressing
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
