you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
