I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
