He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
