It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize