1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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