It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
