Sponge bath it is.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize