I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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