I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
