All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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