Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Sober January is a disaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize