So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
