I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
