Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
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Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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