it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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