I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
