Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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