separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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