I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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