I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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