The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
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Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
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sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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