im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
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We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize