So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
