I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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