I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
